Ant Army

Hunger is a driving force

I notice how all the ants crowd around me

Picking off the crust from my bread, tossing it 

Watching how they divide, how hunger changes

Everyone is affected, or is supposed to be. I think

I am a bit broken, my body unable to tell when I am

Hungry or full.

So I watch them carry on, taking crumbs back to their homes

A little bit moved at how considerate they are to feed their families.

I keep getting told I am selfish for starving myself but I cannot help it

My body is rejecting me in its entirety, and I too will lose it all shortly.

Sitting outside, having the sun pierce through me

Burning holes into my skin, my bones charred.

I wonder how the ants feel in this unbearable heat

Still trying their best to survive, while I have begun to cave

Into the reassuring feeling of my stomach tingling, hunger ringing.

The more it shrinks, the more my nerves calm

As though pain is my acquaintance, and we have gained intimacy.

To where my body is more trusting than need be, betraying survival

Where the ants remain strong and faithful,

Traits I have lost during my exhausting years.

Perhaps when I am buried, deep into the Earth

They can feast on my flesh, rotting into the dirt

And I can help feed a family.